Publisher link is here
After spending years defending his country, will Jonathan lose the battle over his heart?
When Jonathan Stevens meets Kai Stromwell, it’s attraction at first sight, but can a brief sizzle turn into a lasting fire? A series of events leads Jonathan to believe someone is trying to kill Kai. The question is who? With no obvious motives the most he can do is stick close to the handsome man and stay alert. Keeping Kai safe becomes the focus of his life while he fights his own personal demons.
Kai Stromwell has worked hard to build up his fortune. Upon meeting Jonathan he wonders if maybe there is more to life than long hours at the office. When attempts on his life become more and more aggressive, he turns to his new love for answers. Depending on someone had never been easy but he would give up his millions if he could spend the rest of his life teasing Jonathan.
Sometimes life conspired against him. Jonathan knew it like he knew that the desert sun always burned his skin crackling hot, and that sand always scratched across the most uncomfortable places when he needed to stand at attention.
After getting hardly any sleep, he’d driven to his boss Sinclair Alverston’s condo only to find him and his husband, Callum Turner, snuggled together on the couch, looking sickeningly happy. An ex-mercenary with a hard-ass reputation shouldn’t be able to pull off the googly-eyed look.
Callum took a moment to separate himself from Sinclair and casually whip Jonathan up an incredible omelette and heat up some biscuits, before returning to the couch for his real job—being the centre of Sin’s fucking universe. Jonathan wished he could hate Callum a bit for not only finding a lover who worshipped him but for making personal success look so easy too. Unfortunately, it took too much effort to dislike the chef. Callum was genuinely a nice guy who’d give the shirt off his back to a person in need. Jonathan considered Callum one of his rare non-military friends.
However, watching the pair of them smooching churned Jonathan’s stomach and not for the reason that his religious-minded parents would have preferred. Envy, an ugly emotion at the best of times, twisted inside him tighter than a contortionist. He might tell himself he preferred to be left alone because of his problems, but deep down beneath his indifferent veneer, he wished he had someone to love.
Even if he happened to find the perfect guy, Jonathan had enough emotional baggage to fill a dozen U-Haul trucks. If for some reason this imaginary Mr Wonderful overlooked the fact that he could never meet Jonathan’s parents and would never be acknowledged by any of Jonathan’s relatives, he’d still have to put up with the night-time terrors haunting Jonathan’s sleep.
Yep, he was a prize.
He sighed and took another bite of his omelette. Considering his sour attitude lately, Callum had shown great restraint in not poisoning Jonathan’s food. Even the explosion of flavours filling his mouth didn’t take away his melancholy. He’d have to talk to the doctor about upping his medication. He could feel depression clouding his thoughts and slowing his reflexes. With the mood-lifter cocktail he took, Jonathan shouldn’t still feel as if he were moving through molasses.
Sin approached and hopped onto the bar stool beside him. “I don’t want to pry into your personal life, Jonathan, but Patrick and I are worried about you. You’ve been jittery and unfocused lately. Not to mention you look like shit.”
Jonathan laughed. It wasn’t funny, not really, but Sin’s complete lack of subtlety was kind of refreshing. You always knew where you stood with the ex-mercenary.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
He’d known the time would come when he needed to tell his bosses and apparently that time had arrived.
“I’ve been having nightmares—flashbacks, really. I’m on anti-depressants and I have a therapist. Not much is helping,” he confessed.
Surprisingly, Sin nodded and patted him on the shoulder. “It gets better. Stick with a regimen. If you’d like a different therapist, I have one I used for a bit when I stopped being a mercenary.”
Jonathan’s jaw dropped open. It had never occurred to him that Sinclair Alverston had ever been to a therapist in his life. That unexpected news lifted a weight off his chest. “Thanks.”
Sin nodded. “You can’t tell by looking at someone that they need a hand once in a while. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Patrick and I have both had problems from time to time. Arthur still has nightmares about his partner. It’s natural. If you were completely unaffected, then you should be worried.”
“I appreciate that.” The relief of sharing his problems helped a great deal. Since he’d left the military, he’d gone frombeing in a group of people experiencing the same things to being a loner. He hadn’t realised how much talking to his friends had helped. Most of them were dead now, but looking at Callum and Sin, he knew he’d discounted people right in front of him who cared.
Sinclair’s phone rang. After a short conversation he hung up and turned his attention back to Jonathan.